Saturday, October 17, 2015

"All religions are equally true." - John Coltrane


"Freud’s unconscious is the repressed recollections of one’s infancy. The contents of the unconsciousness, for Freud, once were conscious and can be made conscious again through analysis, and that is the cure."

 
Thus, the famous mythologist Joseph Campbell states in what is the Introduction to a collection of his writings and lectures on James Joyce in a posthumous collection entitled, Mythic Worlds, Modern Words. Freud, Jung, and the other depth-psychologists of the early twentieth century were vital and essential to Campbell’s theories about comparative mythology, for it is in the world of the unconscious that was probed by these pioneers of the psyche that Campbell found the root and basis for all of humanity’s mythological roots and substructures. Using the same insights that Freud discovered and employed for psychotherapy, Campbell put to use to devise his life-long, insightful analysis of mythological texts and themes.

Campbell was convinced that modern global humanity, with its ongoing enlightenment brought on by the massive successes of science, as well as the shrinking borders of formerly isolated cultures, was reaching a critical breaking point. The problem, according to Campbell, is that we, as a species, are progressively and rapidly outgrowing the structuring and ordering powers of our traditional mythologies, leaving us with nothing to make our individual and collective lives functional and meaningful. As Campbell often argued, human society and civilization is ultimately doomed to self-destruction if we cannot discover a new "global" mythology which will transcend and replace all of the "local" mythologies which we are increasingly abandoning.

Such a new mythology cannot be consciously created, he argued. It must, like Freud’s vision of personal human complexes, spring naturally from the unconscious realm itself. Following an old religious tradition was no good, he argued, especially in the West, because people tend to interpret their inherited mythological heritages in a literal and historic manner, rather that reaching to the deeper hidden meanings that bind all of the word’s mythologies together into one vast complementary system of metaphorical images. Hence, modern humanity looks at its own religious inheritance, determines that it collides with the truths of modern physics and sociological studies, and rejects it as being a "lie" or an "idle fable" - something of value only for the pre-scientific minds of ages past.

Contrarily, those who cannot give up the basic spiritual messages embedded in the various faith systems of our planet, tend to cling to them, fearfully and irrationally, insisting against all arguments of reason that their particular tradition contains the whole and complete truth in every detail. This defensive, reactionary position creates immovable minds and pockets of culture which we commonly label as "fundamentalist," whether the individual tradition be Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or whatever. But "fundamentalism," as British author Karen Armstrong has pointed out, is merely a name for a hardened orthodoxy which has solidified into a defensive stance due to the threatening advances of modernist thought. In a post-9/11 environment, we all must be acutely aware of the massive danger brought on by such hardened, "faith-based" thinking.

However, if Campbell is correct - as I believe he is - that all religious faiths and traditions are ultimately the local and historically conditioned versions and symbols of one, holistic, transcendent experience of the shared life of the human race, do we not potentially possess - simply in the fact of our being able to realize and elucidate the basic truth of this universal phenomena - the very instruments by which we can move forward, advancing through our inherited narratives to reach the core of the meaning that lies beneath each story and symbol?

While Joseph Campbell remained convinced that our inherited faiths would inevitably serve as stumbling blocks and hindrances to our advancement as a species, I fail to see this as inevitable. If the source of all our mythological structures are fundamentally the same, linked as they are to our own unconscious realms, can they not be, as Freud sought to do with personal complexes, be analyzed and in effect, decoded, so that we can understand their very nature and function? If we bring our unconscious mythological life into consciousness, where we can apprehend it and understand it, is that not potentially our cure for the cultural malaise in which we find ourselves today?

Basically, what I am asking is simply, isn’t it about time that we, as a species, begin the serious process of growing up and becoming adults, especially as regards our inherited mythologies and belief-systems? Is it not ridiculous that we, as a culture, as a species, are becoming increasingly polarized into two fractious groups, each of which maintaining unjustifiable and incompatible positions?

On the one side, we have hordes of religious "fanatics" who absolutely refuse to budge an inch in the belief that their particular inherited mythological narratives are completely literally and historically factual, no matter how much that belief conflicts with other narratives or the rational arguments of physical science. And on the other hand, we have (quite understandably) a growing contingent of individuals and organizations that are dead-set in their opposition to anything that people of any religious tradition might happen to believe, value or wish to live by.

This is an appallingly ignorant standoff. And what is worse is that the anti-religious reactionary forces do absolutely nothing but increase the "fundamentalists’" deeply grounded fears that social forces are actively at work to undermine and destroy everything that they hold sacred, meaningful and life-affirming. The situation is intolerable, and what’s much more important is that it is dangerous. In a world in which weapons of mass destruction are indeed a reality, can we, as a species, afford to keep such a self-defeating polarity actively engaged? What we may ultimately have here is not simply a difference of opinion or attitude - we have the key to ignite Armageddon!

Fortunately, I believe, we also possess the key to extricating ourselves out of this horrible mess - though whether we will actually put it into practice and save ourselves from ourselves is another question. Personally, I do not see why on earth we cannot use the tools of the psychoanalyst to reach into the depths of what Carl Jung called our "collective unconscious," in order to bring up to the surface the hidden, universal sources of all of our shared fears, aspirations, as well as a sense of awe and wonder at the great mystery of Being.

And just as in classic psychiatry, the first step to solving a problem is to recognized that we have a problem. We all do - it is universally shared by the population of the planet. And this problem must be named and identified, clearly, distinctly, and as fully as possible. So let’s state the main thesis to which we all must ultimately submit if we are to be completely honest with ourselves and hold it ever in front of us if we wish to move forward in the progress (and survival) of the human race:

All religions are mythology. They are all sets of symbols that are utilized by human beings to express the inexpressible, to visualize that which we may intuit but cannot know for certain because of our purely human limitations. No one is in complete possession of the truth, and no one person can comprehend the entire truth of Reality. All mythological systems are valid symbolic statements of expression that embody real and fundamental aspects of being human, conscious and possessing a sense of morality and a conviction of worth. We must go beneath the symbols of our religious traditions to seek the eternal verities that are represented there and which all religions share. In this sense, all religions are equally "true." It is our future task and goal as human beings to seek to understand and appreciate more fully our own inherited mythologies and to see how they align with and complement all other systems. We must at all times strive to understand, respect and accept alternative ways of viewing life and reality.

Easier said than done, I agree. But we’ve got to start somewhere. And it all begins with each and every one of us lying back on the couch and confronting our own inner assumptions, aspirations, and fears.

Then let the dialogue begin.



 

petey


Friday, September 4, 2015

Dexter Gordon!


Dexter Gordon (1923-1990) was one of the first of the young tenormen to take Charlie Parker’s revolutionary new style and apply it to the larger horn. Although Dexter did not play as ostentatiously as Bird, the expanded chromaticism and harmonic range of Parker’s music gave Gordon a stylistic framework through which he could deliver his naturally deep, sonorous tone as well as his natural gift for melody.

Although originally from Philadelphia, Gordon was - like Parker himself - deeply influenced by the smooth, mellow playing of Kansas City’s Lester Young, the great tenor player in Count Basie’s band. Already by the age of 18, Dexter was playing professionally in both New York and Chicago, in the big band of Lionel Hampton. By 20, he had already lead his own first recording date, then went on to take a chair in Louis Armstrong’s orchestra throughout 1944. By the end of the year, he joined Billy Eckstine’s band, which featured both Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker. Like so many other young musicians of the day, hearing these dazzling innovators turned Dexter’s head around. Gordon quickly converted to the bebop style.

While continuing to learn the intricate language of the new music and still playing with Eckstine, Gordon appeared with Gillespie in early 1945 on the trumpeter’s first solo recordings. By September, Dexter found himself playing side-by-side with Parker for a session with pianist Sir Charles Thompson. Finally, on October 30, 1945, Dexter Gordon went into the studio to lay down his first bop-oriented tracks as a leader.


DEXTER GORDON QUARTET - October 30, 1945
 
Dexter Gordon (ts); Sadik Hakim (p); Gene Ramey (b); Eddie Nicholson (d)
1. "Blow Mr. Dexter"
2. "Dexter’s Deck"
3. "Dexter’s Cutting Out"
4. "Dextor’s Minor Mad"

 
Aside from "Blow Mr. Dexter," which is a 12-bar blues, these pieces are basic bebop confections (all self-composed) in standard AABA format. Gordon cleverly appropriates some of Charlie Parker’s harmonic ideas while staying in a swing groove and maintaining his immaculately beautiful tone.

"Blow Mr. Dexter"

"Dexter’s Deck"

"Dexter’s Cutting Out"

"Dexter’s Minor Mad"


Dexter Gordon would have a long career as one of the perennial greats of modern jazz. His early work on tenor would not only lift him to a special following of his own, but would also serve as a prototype and inspiration for subsequent titans on the instrument, such as Sonny Rollins and John Coltrane. But Dexter himself, with his smooth, assured, happy style, would always be a special delight to listen to and enjoy.

 
 
These four recordings were originally issued as 78-rpm singles on Savoy Records (Charlie Parker’s label). In 1947, with two more great sessions under his belt, the company released Dexter’s first album. All four sides can be found here, as well as on several different larger compilations of Gordon’s work.
 

Petrushka (1911 ballet)

Nijinsky as Petrushka
 
With the stunning success of The Firebird (1910), Sergei Diaghilev, director of the Ballet Russes in Paris, commissioned composer Igor Stravinsky to write a follow-up ballet for the subsequent season. Although Stravinsky’s first idea concerned an ancient tribal ritual, the composer soon found himself fascinated with the idea of a puppet moving to all sorts of the novel orchestral effects that he was experimenting with in his music. Diaghilev was inspired by the notion and quickly suggested a ballet based upon Petrushka - the Russian counterpart of Punch in the popular Punch and Judy shows known throughout Europe and England.
 
Stravinsky loved the idea and immediately went to work on a simple story of love and jealousy between puppets during a tradition Russian festival, set in the early 19th century. The basic premise allowed for Stravinsky to use Russian folk songs as the basis for dances at the fair, and the puppet-dancers would allow him to fully explore the odd and exotic musical devices that he was so intently pursuing.
 
The ballet’s story was quite simple and universal. Russian people gather, drink and cavort and dance at a country festival. A puppeteer unveils three marionettes to the crowd: a clown named Petrushka, a beautiful ballerina, and a handsome, dashing Moor. The puppets perform for the crowd, but later, once they are alone, Petrushka reveals that he is actually in love with the ballerina. He tries to win her heart, but she ultimately prefers the Moor, who goes on to kill the broken-hearted and jealous clown.
 
Petrushka was choreographed by Michel Fokine, and the part of the clown puppet was performed by the legendary dance Vaslav Nijinsky, in a highly stylized manner that stunned the Paris audiences. It was Stravinsky’s second big hit in as many years, and the unique setting allowed him to expand his already-outrageous modernistic compositional techniques to extraordinary new heights.
 
Stravinsky’s Petrushka remains one of the most popular pieces of early 20th century modernism, and it is still performed quite frequently, both as a ballet and as a concert piece. Its extraordinary brilliance and poignance remain ever undimmed. Moreover, its success allowed the composer both the freedom and the confidence to move ahead full-bore on the original idea that would soon result in his third work for the company: his epoch-changing masterwork, The Rite of Spring. After this, the world of Western music would never be the same again.
 
 

Friday, August 28, 2015

The 1,000 Greatest Films of All Time: No. 6

 

6.

 

1963, Italy/France D: Federico Fellini

As the co-author of 1944’s Rome, Open City, the young Federico Fellini can easily be said to be one of the founding fathers of Italian neorealism. It’s all the more surprising, then, that as director, he gradually developed into one of the most fantastic, elaborate, and wildly visual directors the medium has ever seen. And with , he made the most astonishing leap of his career, crafting a beautifully unprecedented, personal film, which jumped effortlessly from realism to dream sequences, childhood memories and wild fantasies with the graceful ease of a circus acrobat.
 
Released early in 1963 in Italy to near-universal acclaim, 8½ went on to dazzle the astonished film world at the Cannes Film Festival and then became a sensation in New York City in the summer. Fellini, already one of the most highly regarded directors in world cinema, was almost universally praised as "genius," and the film retains the status as his "masterpiece."
 
There is no other movie quite like this bizarre, quirky and incredibly indulgent essay on the artist, his world, and the creative process. Blatantly autobiographical, Fellini’s movie depicts an Italian director with writer’s block, struggling to come up with the idea for his newest film. The title comes from the fact that it is Fellini’s eighth movie (plus "a half" for co-directing another). Marcello Mastroianni, plays "Guido": approaching middle age, he is confused, conflicted, selfish, attracted to many women while still wanting to keep his wife, unrealistic, and constantly put-upon by producers, egotistical actors, fans, critics, and seemingly the entire world to create his newest work of cinematic art. Guido, meanwhile, is filled with self-doubt and cannot think of anything that he wants to say. Stalling for time, he casts the film with famous stars, orders large sets built (including a giant rocket), all the while hoping an idea will come to him.
 
is the most visually dazzling film since Citizen Kane, and it probably even outdoes it, using all sorts of tricks taken from the cinematic avant-garde. However, what makes it such a rewarding and perennially great movie is its humor, its humility, its honesty, all combined with a a breathless enthusiasm that almost no other picture can match. To top it all off, Fellini’s long-time musical collaborator, the extraordinary Nino Rota, creates one of the most magnificently memorable scores ever constructed for a film, virtually almost turning this wild ride of a movie into a musical.
 
Alternately hilarious and heart-rending, is a whirlwind of images that constantly morph out of one another, sometimes amplifying, sometimes contradicting a mood, but always moving, skipping back and forth through time, jumping from dream to reality. Yet the film, for all its flash, is steeped in the harsh realities of human content. If really is the autobiography that Fellini wants us to believe it is, he is his own most relentless critic - and yet, despite all his faults, we care for Guido - we want him to make his movie, and more importantly, to pull his fractured life together.
 
By the film’s end, we come to realize that the movie he’s been struggling to make is precisely the one we’ve been watching all along. And we join with him and the entire cast in an extraordinary dance in celebration of the acceptance of life - with all of its insanity, contradictions, triumphs and tragedies. is perhaps the greatest hymn to movies ever made - but more importantly, it is ultimately a hymn to life itself.
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

Bird & Diz: Live 1945!

 

Town Hall, New York City, June 22, 1945

DIZZY GILLESPIE - CHARLIE PARKER (June 22, 1945)
Dizzy Gillespie (tp); Charlie Parker (as); Don Byas (ts, 1-2); Al Haig (p); Curly Russell (b); Max Roach (d, 1-5); Sid Catlett (d, 6-7)
1. Intro
2. Bebop
3. A Night in Tunisia
4. Groovin’ High
5. Salt Peanuts
6. Hot House
7. 52nd Street Theme
 
Following their second revolutionary recording session together on May 11, bebop prophets Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie stuck close throughout 1945. The duo backed up another session for Sarah Vaughan on May 25, producing three more titles for the singer. At nights, they played at clubs, mostly on 52nd Street, New York’s haven of jazz clubs, mostly under the name of the Dizzy Gillespie quintet. This "quintet" consisted of Diz and Bird (when he would deign to show up), plus whatever members of the May session they could get together. Parker was already becoming undependable due to his heroin addiction and his drinking, and Gillespie - a consummate showbiz professional - would not put up with it for very much longer. Dizzy took to making sure another sax player - usually tenorman Don Byas - would be there just in case Parker didn’t come strolling in before the gig was over.

In early June, the group took a short trip to Philadelphia, where they played along with vibraphonist Red Norvo, an older "swing" musician, and one of the few who "dug" the new music that Gillespie and Parker were playing. On June 6, they were back in New York, where the duo sat in a recording session with Norvo. (The results can be heard on the first eight tracks of a collection entitled The Modern Red Norvo - it’s available on Spotify and well worth listening to.)

On June 22, Dizzy and Bird's bands gave a very special show at a 1500-seat performance space known as "The Town Hall" (or just "The Hall), located in midtown Manhattan. The group was broadcast live over the radio by Symphony Sid, a jazz dee-jay who was into the new music scene. Not unusually, the show was taped - but very unusually, it disappeared for half a century. It was accidently discovered in 2005, and even more miraculously, it was a beautiful recording. It was immediately released on CD on a label named "Uptown," to great historical and critical acclaim.

While Bird and Diz played quite a lot together at clubs throughout the year, relatively few people got to hear them interact onstage, and tales of their performances together were legendary. During the 78-rpm era, recordings were limited to three minutes, so each musician would be limited to playing one solo (or less). In a club, these two twin wizards could simply open up and play!

This extraordinary album has now become an essential document of the first, fresh years of modern jazz, and it is all the more remarkable because of the extraordinary sparks that these two giants of music managed to generate between them. Head to head, Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie were it. Nobody could touch these two titans, and the extraordinarily powerful performances on this disc give more than a hint of what the real excitement was like, down in the trenches, which were New York’s jazz clubs in the wild year of 1945.
 

Making this live session even more extraordinary is one of the first recorded performances by legendary modern jazz drummer Max Roach. Max, along with Kenny Clarke and Art Blakey, had been playing the late-night jam sessions at Minton's and elsewhere, essentially re-inventing the drummer's role for the new music. Instead of just riding the beat, Roach would keep his hands and feet free to support and accentuate the soloists' playing, to maintain an active dialogue with him. Finally, we get to hear what a full bebop band actually sounds like!

"Bebop"

The first number is a typically fast contrafact with a traditional AABA structure. After the introductory theme, Byas play two full choruses, quite well. During Dizzy’s solo, shouts and applause can be heard, as Charlie Parker walks onstage - better late than never. What an entrance! Did he plan this? Probably not - it happened too many times. All we know is that Bird immediately proceeds to blow everybody’s heads off. He strolls onstage late and casually proceeds to deliver five straight choruses of the wildest, most complex and inventive jazz anyone listening will have ever heard in their lives - and at lightning-fast speed, no less. The man is absolutely dazzling. What a public debut! Fifty years later, the pure visceral shock that is felt is still perfectly tangible. It’s as if someone from Mars has just stepped off their space ship for a moment to show the "earthlings" how it’s supposed to be done.


 

 
 

"A Night in Tunisia"


As far as I can tell, Dizzy Gillespie’s most famous composition had yet to be recorded by anyone. He and Parker would lay it down at their next session, Parker’s first as a leader. Here, they unveil the masterpiece in all of its wild, heroic glory - including Parker’s unbelievably fast and complex (and at the time unanticipated) alto break right at the end of the statement of the exotic theme. Amazingly, he doesn’t let up - Bird plays two extraordinary choruses of notes no one has ever heard before. Al Haig enters for his two, and he wisely approaches with a relaxed style that nevertheless displays his enormous skills. And then there’s Diz . . . After a brief four-bar build-up, Gillespie launches into a high-octane opening that leads into his extraordinarily acrobatic solo. These were supermen, folks. (And listen to Max Roach dropping those bombs!) Dizzy’s quietly magnificent cadenza at the end. Talk about dazzling - what was the radio audience thinking at this point?




"Groovin High"

This fabulous Gillespie number which the pair recorded back in February was one of the few releases of the new music that had actually been released, and thus heard by more than just the habitués of the club scene. Symphony Sid even mentions that he plays it "so much" on his show during his introduction - though he might very well have been the only dee-jay in the city to be doing so.

As great as the record is, however, the tune gets much more life here, as the soloists are allowed to relax and stretch out with it, playing to their hearts' content. While the original recording was tightly packed with mini-solos and quickly arranged transition sections, the free and open format here encourages a less reckless, and purely joyful playing. Both Parker and Gillespie seem less concerned with showing off here, and just simply have a blast, floating effortlessly to the long, happy, relaxed strains of the tune. Plus, the great Oscar Pettiford is in on bass instead of the silly Slam Stewart, and Max Roach takes it to town. This is a real bobop band, folks - as real as it gets!

Haig also turns in a marvelous couple of choruses, and Dizzy ends the tune with the same triumphant cadenza that closes the record, ending beautifully on that impossible high, high note. This is indeed some special stuff we're getting to hear, so please feel free to take the opportunity to absorb and enjoy it to the max!


"Salt Peanuts"

Bird and Diz spring their newly recorded (May 11) composition on an unsuspecting public. Predictably, the audience cracks up at Gillespie's "lyrics," but the real insanity come with the solos. Both Parker and Gillespie take unusually long turns, both of them filling the room with fireworks at breakneck speed. This is an absolutely thrilling performance that demonstrates just how unpredictably wild and reckless the new music could be. Max Roach has a short solo toward the end that pumps up the excitement even more. By the time, the theme is reprised, and the tune comes to an abrupt end, you can hear the live crowd simply explode with astonished excitement. Man . . . to have been there!



"Hot House"

The group follows up with Tadd Dameron's composition that they also recorded at the last session. Sid Catlett, the drummer on the record, replaces Roach for this number, which he drives fast, hot and heavy. Bird only takes one chorus, but it's unbelievable. Dizzy follows with fireworks, then Haig. Catlett ends the piece with two full choruses of a drum solo. It's fun, the crowd loves it, but it's decidedly "swing." Catlett is fun, but I wish that Max had remained onstage to blow everyone away. Perhaps he was just a little too far ahead of his time at this point . . .


 
 

"52nd Street Theme"

The show closes with the traditional "52nd Street Theme" that so many New York jazz musicians would use to end their sets over the years to come. Both Bird and Diz manage to get one more miraculous line each, and that's all from Town Hall! Thank God somebody found this tape, and we can all listen to it and marvel at all these extraordinary moments we missed the first time around. Bird lives. And so does Diz.
 





 
 
 


 

 



 

 


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The 1,000 Greatest Films of All Time: No. 5

5. The Rules of the Game


1939, France D: Jean Renoir

At first glance, it may appear strange that what looks to all purposes like a silly little French sex comedy could almost begin a riot. But that’s precisely what happened when Jean Renoir premiered his newest film in Paris, 1939. Not only did the audience boo the movie, but some people began to fight, and one patron actually attempted to set fire to the theater. Seems as though Renoir just may have struck a nerve . . .

I don’t know what the most extraordinary thing about this mind-bending masterpiece is. Is it its sheer audacious daring, its meticulously baroque plotting, its fast-pace humor, its insane cast of characters, its pure classical beauty, its impossibly byzantine camera movement, or its ultimate sense of the sad dignity and grace of humanity. I think, perhaps, its director’s greatest accomplishment is to keep all of these balls up in the air at the same time, while showing himself as a character in the center of it all, utterly helpless, yet trying to keep it all from flying apart!

The Rules of the Game is the ultimate ensemble cinematic triumph. It moves to its own internal rhythm like no other. There is no other movie that even comes close to sustaining its remarkably balanced, yet seemingly chaotic action so smoothly aligned to sheer perfection. It is one film that reveals more and more complexity and layers of irony with every successive viewing. In short, the more you watch it, the greater it becomes, the more it unfolds its riches. More remarkable still, it not only becomes more funny and more sad, but more shocking every time you see it.

And it was shock that accompanied its appearance right on the eve of the beginning of the Second World War. For without a single mention of the growing conflagration on the immediate horizon, Renoir unveiled so all the world could see, the frivolous, stupid, empty behavior of the idle and pretentious bourgeoisie of Europe who, by their very oblivion to the reality of their times, had let things come to such a horrific, unstoppable path. It is no wonder that Paris reacted with indignation and violence. Nobody wants to stare into a mirror that large and unflattering.

Actually all of the classes of French society take in on the chin in the film. The servants ape their masters in matters of sex, seduction and duplicity. But the greatest sin of all, in Renoir’s vision, is the one of sheer negligence - the act of looking the other way. When one must play one’s role, regardless of the implications or the outcome - even if the result is the tragic destruction of a human life - how can any one person be truly indicted? This was Renoir’s great transgression - he appeared with precisely the right message that absolutely nobody wanted to hear. We are the enemy.

At the very center of the two acts of criss-crossing lovers, deceits, cheats, lies, performances public and private, the film bursts wildly, appallingly and deafeningly to its horrific and devastating centerpiece. The hosts and their proper and distinguished guests all traipse casually out into the beautiful winter outdoors. Servants rush through the woods with sticks, frightening birds, rabbits and other wildlife ahead of them, until they emerge, unprotected, into an open area where the carefree, thoughtless humans mow them down in an epic, high-speed bloodbath of brutal carnage. I don’t care how you feel about hunting - after witnessing this vicious ritual enacted by such shallow, callous dilettantes, you may be tempted to start a riot yourself.

 

 
 
 

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Greatest 1,000 Albums of All Time: Update

Okay, so I was going to write about the 1,000 greatest albums of all time, based on a compilation site called BestEverMusic. But then I discovered another one that might be more authoritative (whatever that means in this context) called Acclaimed Music, which also ranks songs. While both sites are drawing from many of the same sources, and feature many of the same albums, they differ in their rankings quite considerably. What on earth should I do, I queried?

Finally, it hit me - like I was shot through the forehead with a diamond bullet - compile the compilers!

Yes, it’s such a simple solution. Just take the ranking from each site, divide by two and I’ll have the perfect ranking system. Here’s how they stack up (as of yesterday) in their assessment of the top ten albums of all time:


ACCLAIMED MUSIC
1. The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
2. The Beatles: Revolver
3. Nirvana: Nevermind
4. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
6. The Clash: London Calling
7. Marvin Gaye: What’s Going On
8. The Rolling Stones: Exile on Main St.
9. Bob Dylan: Blonde on Blonde
10. Radiohead: OK Computer

BEST EVER ALBUMS
1. Radiohead: OK Computer
2. Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon
3. The Beatles: Revolver
4. The Beatles: Abbey Road
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
6. Nirvana: Nevermind
7. Radiohead: Kid A
8. Led Zeppelin: Led Zeppelin IV
9. Arcade Fire: Funeral
10. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico

 
Okay, so I combined the rankings of each, thinking it would yield me the perfect ranking. This is what I got:


COMPOSITE SCORE
2.5. The Beatles: Revolver
4.5. Nirvana: Nevermind
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
5. Radiohead: OK Computer
7. The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
7. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico
9. The Clash: London Calling
11.5 The Beatles: Abbey Road
11.5. Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon
17. The Rolling Stones: Exile on Main St.
18. Led Zeppelin: Led Zeppelin IV
19. Bob Dylan: Blonde on Blonde
20. Arcade Fire: Funeral
22. Radiohead: Kid A
Well, this is better - more balanced, don’t you think? Except Nevermind is still ranked above Sgt. Pepper’s. And that’s fucked up.

Oh, well, no compilation can be perfect. So I suppose I’ve got nothing left to do but report my findings and give my commentary. Once again, the most important thing is that these are all great albums, and that your lives are ABSOLUTELY EMPTY without them!

So I guess I’ll go ahead and start with Revolver. Even if it’s not the best album ever. (Even if it’s not the best BEATLES album ever - sigh.)

The main thing is that it will give people something very important to argue about. Coming to you soon! ("'Cause I'm the taxman/Yeah, I'm the taxman . . .")