The Greatest 1,000 Albums of All Time: Update

Okay, so I was going to write about the 1,000 greatest albums of all time, based on a compilation site called BestEverMusic. But then I discovered another one that might be more authoritative (whatever that means in this context) called Acclaimed Music, which also ranks songs. While both sites are drawing from many of the same sources, and feature many of the same albums, they differ in their rankings quite considerably. What on earth should I do, I queried?

Finally, it hit me - like I was shot through the forehead with a diamond bullet - compile the compilers!

Yes, it’s such a simple solution. Just take the ranking from each site, divide by two and I’ll have the perfect ranking system. Here’s how they stack up (as of yesterday) in their assessment of the top ten albums of all time:


ACCLAIMED MUSIC
1. The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
2. The Beatles: Revolver
3. Nirvana: Nevermind
4. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
6. The Clash: London Calling
7. Marvin Gaye: What’s Going On
8. The Rolling Stones: Exile on Main St.
9. Bob Dylan: Blonde on Blonde
10. Radiohead: OK Computer

BEST EVER ALBUMS
1. Radiohead: OK Computer
2. Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon
3. The Beatles: Revolver
4. The Beatles: Abbey Road
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
6. Nirvana: Nevermind
7. Radiohead: Kid A
8. Led Zeppelin: Led Zeppelin IV
9. Arcade Fire: Funeral
10. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico

 Okay, so I combined the rankings of each, thinking it would yield me the perfect ranking. This is what I got:


COMPOSITE SCORE
2.5. The Beatles: Revolver
4.5. Nirvana: Nevermind
5. The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
5. Radiohead: OK Computer
7. The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
7. The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico
9. The Clash: London Calling
11.5 The Beatles: Abbey Road
11.5. Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon
17. The Rolling Stones: Exile on Main St.
18. Led Zeppelin: Led Zeppelin IV
19. Bob Dylan: Blonde on Blonde
20. Arcade Fire: Funeral
22. Radiohead: Kid A
Well, this is better - more balanced, don’t you think? Except Nevermind is still ranked above Sgt. Pepper’s. And that’s fucked up.

Oh, well, no compilation can be perfect. So I suppose I’ve got nothing left to do but report my findings and give my commentary. Once again, the most important thing is that these are all great albums, and that your lives are ABSOLUTELY EMPTY without them!

So I guess I’ll go ahead and start with Revolver. Even if it’s not the best album ever. (Even if it’s not the best BEATLES album ever - sigh.)

The main thing is that it will give people something very important to argue about. Coming to you soon! ("'Cause I'm the taxman/Yeah, I'm the taxman . . .")